Introduction

Motivation

Bismillah. I used to come across many stories and ahadith about the Prophet (SAW) and his companions regarding their marriages which I thought were interesting glimpses into the personal lives of those great people.

That inspired me to write this article where I can compile a lot of those stories which are authentic into one place. However, so that the article would be complete, I decided to organize these stories into different sections and even to important topics related to marriage that do not have any specific story.

I wrote it hoping it would be a good resource for married couples and those who are about to get married.

Organization

I divided this article into four parts:

Husband’s Handbook
Wife’s Handbook
General Marital Handbook
Marital Behaviour

In the husband and wife’s handbooks, I followed the philosophy that a relationship only works well when a person knows their responsibilities, not when they obsess over their rights. As such, in the husband’s handbook, I listed the major responsibilities of the husband, and in the wife’s handbook, I listed the major responsibilities of the wife.

Do not assume because a topic is in one of the two handbooks that it does not apply to the other. There are things in the husband’s handbook that apply to women and things in the wife’s handbook that apply to men. But, I placed those things there because they are more emphasized as a responsibility for one of them.

In the general marital handbook, I listed other important marital rights, responsibilities, or realities that I could not place in either the husband or the wife’s handbooks.

Then, the section on marital behavior is the heart of this article, and that is where I placed most of the stories I found, even though stories exist in other sections. In this section, I listed many of the smaller mannerisms a husband and wife should adopt based on the example of the Prophet (SAW), the Mothers of the Believers, and the companions of the Prophet (SAW).

Husband’s Handbook

Mahr

Obligation of Mahr

Allah says ⟪Lawful to you in marriage are chaste women among the believers and chaste women from Ahl al-Kitab, when you have given them their due compensation, desiring chastity, not shamelessness, and not taking secret lovers.⟫ (5:5)

Allah says ⟪[Other than close family that have been prohibited,] women are permissible to seek [in marriage] using your wealth, desiring chastity, not shamelessness. So, whatever you enjoy of marriage from them, give them their due compensation as an obligation.⟫ (4:24)

The mahr is a central component of a valid marriage, and it is a gift a husband is obligated to give his wife to signify that he will continue to be generous with her and spend on her throughout the marriage.

What To Give As Mahr

It is recommended for the husband to give a good amount in mahr appropriate for women of her family and social class. However, the mahr does not need to be huge enough to bankrupt the husband.

A man proposed to marry a woman in front of the Prophet (SAW). The Prophet (SAW) said, “Do you have anything (for mahr)?” He said, “No.” The Prophet said, “Look for even an iron ring.” But, he looked and could not find anything. He said, “I have this garment I am wearing; she can have half of it.” The Prophet said, “What can she do with that garment? If you wear it, she will not be able to cover herself. If she wears it, you will not be able to cover yourself.” Then, finally, the man was about to leave when the Prophet asked him, “What Quran have you memorized?” He said, “This and that Surah.” The Prophet said, “You are married to her with what you have memorized of the Quran as mahr.” (Sahih Bukhari; Shortened)

Based on this, scholars like Shafi’i and Ahmad allowed anything agreed upon between the husband and wife to be mahr. The Malikis required actual property worth at least a fourth of a dinar (~2 CAD). The Hanafis required actual property worth at least ten dinars (~80 CAD).

A husband should avoid the difference of opinion and give valid wealth as mahr, whether that is money, gold, property, or any other object that has value.

Prohibition of Taking Back Mahr or Other Gifts Forcefully

Allah says ⟪If you want to replace one wife with another and you have given one of them a great treasure [in gifts or mahr], do not take [back] from it anything. Would you take it in injustice and manifest sin?⟫ ⟪And how could you take it while you have gone in unto each other and they have taken from you a solemn covenant?⟫ (4:20-21)

Anyone who violates this law will face the judgement of Allah and see the fire of Hell, may Allah protect us.

Wife Giving Back Part of the Mahr or More

Allah says ⟪Give them their due compensation as an obligation. But, there is no blame upon you for what you mutually agree to after the obligation.⟫ (4:24)

It is allowed for a wife to voluntarily give back part of her mahr or all her mahr if she so wishes.

If a wife wants to divorce her husband but her husband does not wish to divorce unless she gives back the mahr, she can give back the mahr in exchange for divorce. This type of divorce is called khula’.

However, if a man divorces his wife out his own volition then pressures her to return her mahr, he is part of the fuel of Hell.

Allah says ⟪And do not make difficulties for them in order to take [back] part of what you gave them unless they commit a clear immorality.⟫ (4:19)

Being Happy and Open About the Mahr

Anas (RA) said: The Prophet (SAW) saw traces of perfume on Abd al-Rahman ibn Awf (RA) and asked him, “What is this?” He said, “I married a woman from the Ansar.” The Prophet (SAW) asked, “What did you give her (as mahr)?” He said, “I gave her the weight of a date seed.” The Prophet (SAW) said, “Barakallahu lak, have a walimah even if with one sheep.” (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Providing

Men Spending on Women

Allah says ⟪Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. ⟫ (4:34)

The Prophet (SAW) said to husbands in his farewell sermon, “They have the right over you that you feed them and clothe them according to what is appropriate.” (Sahih Muslim)

A husband is obligated to spend on his wife from his wealth according to the known standard of society. He is responsible for her food, her clothes, and her place of living.

A Wife Taking Her Husband’s Money Without Permission When Needed

Hind ibn Utbah (RA) came to the Prophet (SAW) and asked, “Messenger of Allah, Abu Sufyan (my husband) is stingy. Is it wrong if I take from his money to feed our family?” The Prophet (SAW) said, “There is no harm if you feed them according to what is appropriate.” (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Wives Having the Right to Their Own Money

A husband owns his money, except for what is necessary to take care of his family, and a wife owns her money. Neither can violate the property rights of the other.

Allah says ⟪O you who have believed, do not consume one another’s wealth unjustly but only [in lawful] business by mutual consent.⟫ (4:29)

Once, Zubair ibn Awwam (RA) entered the room of Asma bint Abi Bakr (RA), his wife, and saw that she had some money. He said, “Gift this to me.” She said, “I intend to give it in charity.” (Sahih Bukhari)

Education and Guidance

Protecting Yourself and Your Family From the Fire

Allah says ⟪O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones⟫ (66:6)

The Prophet (SAW) said, “Each of you is a shepherd and will be questioned about his flock. The ruler is a shepherd over people and will be asked about them. A man is the shepherd of his household and will be asked about them. A woman is the shepherd of her husband’s house and children and will be asked about them.” (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

A husband is responsible for his wife and family in all aspects including spiritual and religious guidance. He must teach his wife and family about Allah, about the Prophet (SAW), and about the Day of Judgement if they do not know, and he must guide them towards what is good and guide them away from what is bad.

This does not mean a wife can excuse herself if her husband is bad. It only means the husband will face extra punishment if he did not teach his wife as he was required to.

Guidance Comes From Allah

A husband is not responsible for the guidance of his wife, and a wife is not responsible for the guidance of her husband, if they refuse to listen to advice. No one can guide but Allah. It is only their job to teach and remind each other in a good way and do what they can.

Allah says ⟪You do not guide whom you like, but Allah guides whom He wills.⟫ (28:56)

Allah says ⟪Allah presents an example of those who disbelieved: the wife of Nuh and the wife of Lut. They were under two of Our righteous servants but betrayed them, so those prophets did not avail them from Allah at all, and it was said, “Enter the Fire with those who enter.”⟫ (66:10)

Even prophets like Nuh and Lut (AS) could not guide their wives, and Allah did not hold them accountable for that.

Kindness and Forgiveness

Treating Wives Kindly

Allah says ⟪And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them – perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good.⟫ (4:19)

The Prophet (SAW) said, “The best of you are those who are best to their families (i.e. their wives), and I am the best of you to my family.” (Sunan Tirmidhi; Hasan)

Not Disliking Them

Abu Hurairah (RA) narrated: The Prophet (SAW) said, “A believing man does not hate a believing woman. If he does not like one characteristic in her, he will be happy with another.” (Sahih Muslim)

Resolving Arguments

Not Arguing With Your Wife Like You Argue With Men

The Prophet (SAW) said, “A woman is like a rib. If you try to straighten her, she will break. If you want to benefit from her, benefit from her while she has a bend (and is not straight).” (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Not Getting Angry When She Does Something Wrong

Anas (RA) narrated: While the Prophet (SAW) was at the home of one of his wives, another of his wives sent him a plate with food in it. The wife that was with the Prophet (SAW) hit the servant’s hand and the plate fell to the ground and broke. The Prophet (SAW) gathered the pieces, gathered the food, and said, “Your mother became jealous.” Then, he told the servant to stay until he got a plate from the home of the wife he was with and returned the servant with that plate, and he kept the broken plate in the home of the one who broke it. (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Wife’s Handbook

Guarding Chastity

Guarding Chastity for Wives and Husbands

Allah says ⟪So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband’s] absence what Allah would have them guard.⟫ (4:34)

Allah describes the believers: ⟪Those who guard their chastity, men and women.⟫ (33:35)

The Adulterer Being Stoned

The Prophet (SAW) said, “The child belongs to the bed, and the adulterer gets the stone.” (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

A Wife Not Allowing Anyone Into Her Husband’s House Without His Permission

Abu Hurairah (RA) narrated: The Prophet (SAW) said, “A woman should not allow anyone into her husband’s house except with his permission.” (Sahih Bukhari)

The Prophet (SAW) said to husbands in the farewell sermon, “You have the right over them that they do not allow anyone you dislike on your bed.” (Sahih Muslim)

Availability

A Husband’s Right Over His Wife

The Prophet (SAW) said, “If a man calls his wife to bed but she refuses and he spends the night angry with her, the angels curse her until the morning.” (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “A woman should not fast (optional fasts) except with her husband’s permission if he is at home (staying with her).

A Wife’s Right Over Her Husband

Allah says ⟪And due to the wives is similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable.⟫ (2:228)

Abu Juhaifah (RA) narrated:

The Prophet (SAW) paired Abu al-Darda with Salman al-Farisi as brothers.

One day, Salman visited Abu al-Darda and he saw Umm al-Darda looking downcast. He asked her, “What is wrong?”

She said, “Your brother Abu al-Darda has no desire for this world.”

When Abu al-Darda came and food was brought, Salman said, “Eat.”

Abu al-Darda said, “I am fasting.”

Salman said, “I won’t eat until you eat.”

So, Abu al-Darda ate with him.

Then, when night came, Abu al-Darda was going to start praying, but Salman said, “Sleep.” They slept until the last part of the night was left, then they prayed together.

In the morning, Salman said to Abu al-Darda, “Your Lord has a right over you. Your body has a right over you. Your family has a right over you. So, give everyone their rights.”

When Abu al-Darda mentioned this to the Prophet (SAW), the Prophet (SAW) said, “Salman spoke the truth.”
Sahih Bukhari and Muslim

Abdullah ibn Amr (RA) said: My father married me to a woman, but I was a young man at that time and I wished to excel in worship. One day, he visited our house, and he asked my wife how I was with her. She said, “He is a pious man. He does not sleep at night and he does not eat in the day.” So, my father became angry with me and said, “I married you to a Muslim woman and you neglect her!” (Sunan Nasai; Hasan Sahih)

When the Prophet (SAW) heard of this, he told Abdullah ibn Amr, “Your body has a right over you, and your wife has a right over you. Fast sometimes; break your fast sometimes. Stand in prayer sometimes; sleep sometimes.” (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Aisha (RA) narrated: A woman came to the Prophet (SAW) [asking for a divorce] and said, “I married Abd al-Rahman ibn al-Zubair but he has nothing more than the fringe of my dress (i.e. he is impotent).” […] (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Reward of Intimacy

Abu Dharr (RA) narrated: The Prophet (SAW) said, “Every time you encourage good is charity (i.e. rewarded), every time you warn against evil is charity, and being intimate with your wife is charity.” A man asked, “We can fulfill our desires and get reward for that??” The Prophet (SAW) said, “Don’t you see how you would be sinful if you did it in haram? Just like that, you are rewarded if you do it in halal.” (Sahih Muslim)

Gratitude

Allah defined the family as the husband spending on his wife and the wife being grateful to her husband for whatever good he spends.

A Wife Being Grateful to Her Husband

In a strongly Sahih hadith, Ibn Abbas (RA) narrated:
The Prophet (SAW) said, “I was shown Hell and the majority of its people were women who commit kufr.” Someone asked, “Do they commit kufr with Allah?” He said, “They commit kufr (i.e. are ungrateful) to their husbands and are ungrateful for good things [done to them]. If you do good to one of them for a lifetime then she sees one flaw in you, she says, ‘I have never seen any good from you.'” (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim; Strongly Sahih)

In a Sahih hadith, Abu Saeed al-Khudri (RA) narrated:
The Prophet (SAW) went out on Eid to the Musalla [of Eid]. [After he prayed], he turned to people and told them [in the sermon] to give charity. Then, he went to the women [and gave them a sermon] and said, “O women, give charity, because I was shown you as the majority of the people of Hell.” They asked, “Why, Messenger of Allah?” He said, “You curse frequently and are ungrateful to your husbands.” (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim; Sahih)

In a Hasan or Sahih hadith, Ibn Umar (RA) narrated:
The Prophet (SAW) said, “O women, give charity and be frequent in istighfar, because I saw you being the majority of the people of Hell.” A wise women from among them asked, “Messenger of Allah, why are we the majority of the people of Hell?” He said, “You curse frequently and are ungrateful to your husbands.” (Sahih Muslim)

The Prophet (SAW) said the majority of the people in Hell are women to get their attention and warn them in that sermon, but it is possible they are the majority of the human population and thus are the majority in both Paradise and Hell. It is also possible the Prophet (SAW) was shown a specific part of Hell where people who are not grateful to others are punished and they are the majority in that place.

A Husband Being Grateful to His Wife

Abu Hurairah (RA) narrated: The Prophet (SAW) said, “Whoever does not thank people does not thank Allah.” (Adab al-Mufrad; Hasan)

Maintaining the Home

A man goes outside the house to provide for his family, and a wife takes care of the matters of the home, whether inside the home or going outside for things she needs.

Maintaining the Home and Children

Allah says ⟪So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband’s] absence what Allah would have them guard.⟫ (4:34) and Allah told the wives of the Prophet (SAW) ⟪And settle in your homes.⟫

Ibn Umar (RA) narrated: The Prophet (SAW) said, “Each of you is a shepherd and will be questioned about his flock. The ruler is a shepherd over people and will be asked about them. A man is the shepherd of his household and will be asked about them. A woman is the shepherd of her husband’s house and children and will be asked about them.” (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Being Kind to Children and Being Careful With Your Husband’s Property

Abu Hurairah (RA) narrated: The Prophet (SAW) said, “The best women that ride camels (i.e. the best women among the Arabs) are the righteous women of Quraish. [They are best] because they are the kindest to their young children and most careful (and understanding) to their husbands about what (wealth or property) they have.” (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

The Prophet (SAW) described why the women of Quraish were the best women among those who ride camels (i.e. the Arabs), and these good qualities apply to any woman who fulfills them.

Taking Care of Husband’s Sisters

Jabir ibn Abdullah (RA) said: [I was hurrying back when returning from an expedition, so] the Prophet (SAW) asked me, “Did you get married Jabir?” I said, “Yes.” He said, “To a maiden or a matron (i.e. someone who has been married before)?” I said, “To a matron.” He said, “Why didn’t you marry a maiden, so you could be playful with her and she could be playful with you?” I said, “Messenger of Allah, my father was martyred in the Battle of Uhud and left nine daughters, who are my nine sisters. So, I did not want to add another young woman of their age but wanted to marry an [older] woman that could comb their hair and look after them.” The Prophet (SAW) said, “You did the right thing.” (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Supporting the Husband With Wealth When Needed

In a weak hadith, Aisha (RA) said: The Prophet (SAW) always used to mention Khadijah (RA) with praise. So, I said, “Why do you keep remembering her when Allah gave you better than her?” The Prophet (SAW) said, “Allah has not given me better than her. She believed in me when people denied me. She supported me with her wealth when people refused me. Allah gave me children through her and I did not get children from other women.” (Musnad Ahmad; Weak)

General Marital Handbook

Children

Allah says when describing the believers: ⟪Those who say, “Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous.”⟫ (25:74)

And Zakariyya (AS) said: ⟪My Lord, do not leave me alone [with no heir], while you are the best of inheritors.⟫ (21:89)

Aisha (RA) said: I was never jealous of a wife of the Prophet (SAW) more than I was of Khadijah (RA) even though she passed away before he ever married me, because of how often I heard him mention her. Sometimes, I used to say, “As if there is no woman other than Khadijah!” He would say, “She was this, and she was that (listing her good qualities), and I have children through her.” (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

The Prophet (SAW) said, “Marry fertile women, because I will boast of your great numbers on the Day of Judgement.” (Musnad Ahmad; Hasan) This hadith is not Sahih, but it can be supporting evidence for the general idea that having children is good.

Menstruation

Intimacy During Menstruation

Allah says ⟪And they ask you about menstruation. Say, “It is harm, so keep away from wives during menstruation. And do not approach them until they are pure. And when they have purified themselves, then come to them from where Allah has ordained for you. Indeed, Allah loves those who are constantly repentant and loves those who purify themselves.”⟫ (2:222)

Anas (RA) narrated: The Prophet (SAW) said, “You can do everything but intercourse.” (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Maimunah (RA) narrated: The Prophet (SAW) used to be intimate with his spouses while they were in menstruation without intercourse. (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Saying “I am on my period”

When a wife is on her period, she can tell her husband “I am on my period” or “I am menstruating.”

Aisha (RA) said: The Prophet (SAW) said, “Bring me the mat from the mosque.” I said, “I am menstruating.” (She thought the mat might become impure if she touched it.) The Prophet (SAW) said, “Your menstruation is not on your hands.” (Sahih Muslim; Hasan)

Saying “I am not praying”

A wife can also say, “I am not praying,” to refer to her period.

Aisha (RA) said: We set out intending Hajj, but when I reached Sarif (a place close to Makkah), my period started. The Prophet (SAW) entered upon me and I was crying. He said, “What is making you cry, my dear?” I said, “I am not praying.” He said, “That will not harm you. You are one of the daughters of Adam (AS), and this is something Allah decreed for them.” […] (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Listening to Your Spouse

A Woman Obeying Her Husband Regarding the Household and Family

Allah says ⟪So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband’s] absence what Allah would have them guard.⟫ (4:34)

Not Obeying Anything Sinful

Ibn Umar (RA) said: The Prophet (SAW) said, “If someone is commanded to sin, there is no obedience.” (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

A Man Listening to His Wife

Miswar ibn Makhramah (RA) and Marwan said: [The Treaty of Hudaibiyyah prevented the Muslims from doing Umrah that year, and they were all disheartened by the terms of the treaty.] After the treaty was signed, the Prophet (SAW) said to his companions, “Get up and slaughter your sacrifices and shave your heads.” None of them got up. He repeated the order three times, but none of them got up. Then, he went to Umm Salamah and told her how the people were acting with him. She said, “Do you want your order to be obeyed? Go out and don’t speak a word to any of them until you slaughter your sacrifice. Then, call your barber and have your head shaved.” So, the Prophet (SAW) went and slaughtered his sacrifice and called his barber to shave his head. When people saw this, they got up to slaughter and shave their heads. (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Hijab

Obligation of Khimar

Hijab is for a woman to cover all her body except her face and hands, meaning to cover her neck, hair, arms, legs, and the center of her body. The hijab, including the khimar (the headcover), is worn at home when a woman is in the presence of men other than her husband or mahrams.

Allah says ⟪And tell the believing women to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts and not expose their adornment except that which [necessarily] appears thereof and to wrap [a portion of] their headcovers over their chests and not expose their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, [and other mahrams].⟫ (24:31)

Obligation of Jilbaab

A jilbaab is a loose shawl or outer robe worn over a woman’s clothes when she goes outside, to hide the shape of her body.

Allah says ⟪O Prophet, tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to bring down over themselves [part] of their outer garments. That is more suitable that they will be known and not be abused. And ever is Allah Forgiving and Merciful.⟫ (33:59)

Recommendation of Veiling

It is part of piety for a woman to cover her face. That was the example of the Mothers of the Believers.

Allah says ⟪And when you ask [the Prophet’s wives] for something, ask them from behind a partition. That is purer for your hearts and their hearts.⟫ (33:53)

Hijab With a Brother-In-Law

There is no relaxation of the rules of hijab with in-laws other than with the husband’s father (or grandfather), the husband’s son, or a daughter’s husband.

Uqbah ibn Amir (RA) narrated: The Prophet (SAW) said, “Beware of entering upon women (alone or without their hijabs).” A man from the Ansar asked, “What about the in-laws?” He (SAW) said, “The in-laws are death.” (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

They are death because some people relax the rules with them even though it is not allowed.

A Husband Telling His Wife About Hijab

Allah says ⟪O Prophet, tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to bring down over themselves [part] of their outer garments⟫ and ⟪There has been for you in the Messenger of Allah an excellent example.⟫ (33:21)

In a supporting hadith, Ibn Umar (RA) narrated from the Prophet (SAW), “Allah will not look at three people on the Day of Judgement: 1) The one who is undutiful to his parents, 2) A woman who acts like men, and 3) A dayyuth.” (Sunan Nasai; Weak or Hasan)

A dayyuth is someone who does not care about the modesty of his wife or daughters or female family members. It does not refer to someone who does his best but they ignore him.

Wife Staying At Home

The default and natural state is for wives to stay at home.

Allah advised the Mothers of the Believers, who were role models for all women: ⟪And abide in your houses and do not display yourselves as [was] the display of the former times of ignorance.⟫ (33:33)

The Prophet (SAW) said, “A woman is the shepherd of her husband’s house and children and will be asked about them.” (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Wife Going Out to the Masjid

A man should not prevent his wife from going to the masjid.

Salim narrated from Ibn Umar (RA): The Prophet (SAW) said, “When your wife asks permission to go to the masjid, do not prevent her.” (Sahih Bukhari)

He should not prevent her even at night, as long as it is safe.

Mujahid narrated from Ibn Umar (RA): The Prophet (SAW) said, “Do not prevent women from going to the masjids at night.” (Sahih Bukhari)

Wife Meeting Her Friends

Aisha (RA) said: The Prophet (SAW) entered while I had a woman with me. After she left, he asked me, “Who was that?” She said, “She is XYZ.” […] (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Ibn Abbas (RA) narrated: The Prophet (SAW) said, “The mother of Ismail (Hajira) liked the company of people.” (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Wife Going Out for Other Needs

Aisha (RA) narrated: Sawdah, the wife of the Prophet (SAW), went out one night to fulfill some need. This was after the verse of hijab was revealed, but Sawdah was a tall woman and anyone could recognize her height. So, Umar (RA) saw her and said, “O Sawdah, you cannot hide [your identity] from us, so be careful when you go out.” Sawdah returned while the Prophet (SAW) was eating dinner in my house. She told the Prophet (SAW) what happened. So, Allah revealed to the Prophet (SAW). Then, he said, “You (women) have been permitted to go out for your needs.” (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Wife Working Outside the Home When Needed

Asma bint Abi Bakr (RA) said:

When Zubair married me, he had no real wealth or servant or anything except for a camel to draw water from a well and a horse.

I used to feed his horse with grass, draw water from the well, fix the bucket for drawing water, and prepare the dough, but I did not know how to bake bread, so our Ansari neighbors used to bake bread for me, and they were nice ladies.

I also used to carry date stones from Zubair’s land, and it was a distance of about 2 miles.

One day, I was walking with the date stones on my head, and I met the Prophet (SAW) with a group of the Ansar. The Prophet (SAW) lowered his camel to allow me to sit behind him. But, I felt shy to travel with men and remembered Zubair and his ghairah.

The Prophet (SAW) realized I became shy, so he left.

When I saw Zubair, I told him what happened and said, “I became shy and remembered your ghairah.”

He said, “By Allah, the fact (that I am poor enough) that you have to carry date stones is worse for me than if you had rode the camel with him.”
Sahih Bukhari and Muslim

Ghairah

Ghairah is possessive jealousy.

A Man’s Ghairah For His Wife

Mughirah ibn Shubah (RA) said: Saad ibn Ubadah (RA) said, “If I saw a man with my wife, I would strike him with my sword.” This statement reached the Prophet (SAW), and he said, “Are you amazed by the ghairah of Saad? I have more ghairah than him, and Allah has more ghairah than me.” (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

A Woman’s Ghairah For Her Husband

Marital Behaviour

Love

Loving Your Spouse

Allah says ⟪And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.⟫ (30:21)

Ibrahim Ibn Maysarah said: A young man proposed to a woman that had fallen in love with him, but her family refused to let them marry. I asked Tawus about this, and he said: The Prophet (SAW) said, “We don’t see anything better than marriage for two who love each other.” Then, he told me to get married. (Abd al-Razzaq, Ibn Majah)

Tawus did not meet the Prophet (SAW) and did not mention his source, so this hadith is disconnected. It is only supporting evidence.

Telling People You Love Your Wife or Husband

Amr ibn al-Aas (RA) said: I asked the Prophet (SAW), “Who is the most beloved person to you?” He said, “Aisha.” I said, “Then who?” He said, “Her father.” (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Abu Musa and Anas (RA) narrated: The Prophet (SAW) said, “The superiority of Aisha over women is like the superiority of thareed over food.” (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim) Thareed was the Prophet (SAW)’s favorite dish.

Umm Salamah (RA) narrated: People used to send presents to the Prophet (SAW) on the day of Aisha (RA)’s turn [because they knew he loved her most]. (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Conversation

Comforting Your Husband or Wife

Aisha (RA) narrated: [When the Prophet (SAW) returned from Hira after receiving the first revelation, afraid], he said to Khadijah (RA), “Cover me, cover me!” She covered him until his fear subsided. Then, he told Khadijah (RA) what happened and said, “I fear for myself.” She said, “By Allah, you will never be disgraced by Allah. You join the ties of kinship, you help the poor and destitute, you serve your guests generously, and you help those afflicted by calamity.” Then, she took him to meet Waraqah, her cousin. […] (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Aisha (RA) said: We set out intending Hajj, but when I reached Sarif (a place close to Makkah), my period started. The Prophet (SAW) entered upon me and I was crying. He said, “What is making you cry, my dear?” I said, “I cannot pray.” He said, “That will not harm you. You are one of the daughters of Adam (AS), and this is something Allah decreed for them. So, do what the pilgrims do except for tawaf around the Kaabah. Maybe Allah will give you the opportunity to do it.” (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Anas (RA) reported: Safiyyah (RA) heard that Hafsa called her “the daughter of a Jew,” so Safiyyah started crying. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, entered while she was crying and he said, “What makes you cry?” Safiyyah said, “Hafsa called me the daughter of a Jew.” The Prophet said, “You are the daughter of a prophet (i.e. Haroon AS), your uncle is a prophet (i.e. Musa AS), and you are married to a prophet, so how can she boast over you?” Then, the Prophet said, “Fear Allah, O Hafsa!” (Sunan Tirmidhi; Hasan or Weak)

Giving Your Wife a Nickname

Aisha (RA) said: The Prophet (SAW) said to me, “O Aish, this is Jibril giving you salam.” I said, “May peace be upon him. You see what I don’t see.” (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Asking Your Wife About Her Friends

Aisha (RA) said: The Prophet (SAW) entered while I had a woman with me. After she left, he asked me, “Who was that?” I said, “She is so-and-so.” Then, I praised how much she prays at night. […] (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Aisha (RA) said: Sometimes, the Prophet (SAW) would sacrifice a sheep, divide it into portions, and gift them to Khadijah’s friends.” (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Opening Up to Your Wife

Ibn Umar (RA) said: We used to avoid talking too much or opening up to our wives in the time of the Prophet (SAW), afraid that Allah would reveal Quran about us (if we accidentally spoke badly to them). After the Prophet (SAW) passed away, we started talking and opening up. (Sahih Bukhari)

A Wife Not Describing Other Women to Her Husband

Ibn Masud (RA) said: The Prophet (SAW) said, “A woman should not look at another woman then describe that woman to her husband as if he were actually looking at her.” (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Evil of Backbiting

Allah says ⟪O you who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin. And do not spy or backbite each other. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his brother when dead? You would detest it. And fear Allah; indeed, Allah is Accepting of repentance and Merciful.⟫ (49:12)

Talking to Your Wife About an Openly Evil Person

Aisha (RA) narrated: The Prophet (SAW) saw a man coming and he said, “What an evil tribesman.” When the man came to the Prophet’s gathering, the Prophet (SAW) welcomed him and smiled at him. When he left, Aisha (RA) asked, “You criticized him but then smiled at him when speaking to him?” The Prophet (SAW) said, “The worst of people on the Day of Judgement will be those that are left alone (without being directly criticized) because of the fear of their evil (i.e. harm they would do to the one criticizing).” (Sahih Bukhari)

Physical Affection

Being Playful With Your Spouse

The Prophet (SAW) said to Jabir (RA), “Why didn’t you marry a maiden, so you could be playful with her and she could be playful with you?” (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Kissing Your Spouse

Aisha (RA) said, “The Prophet (SAW) used to kiss one of his wives while he was fasting.” Then, she smiled. (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Sleeping In One Blanket

Umm Salamah (RA) said: While I was laying down with the Prophet (SAW), my period started. So, I got up and put on the clothes I wore during my period. He (SAW) asked me, “Did your menstruation start?” I said, “Yes.” He called me back and we slept under one blanket. (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Umm Salamah (RA) narrated: The Prophet (SAW) said, “Divine revelation did not come to me while I was under the same blanket as any wife among you except Aisha.” (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Placing Your Head on Your Spouse’s Lap

Aisha (RA) said: The Prophet (SAW) used to recite Quran with his head in my lap, [even] when I was on my period. (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Aisha (RA) said: I lost my necklace at Baida while we were returning to Madinah. So, the Prophet (SAW) stopped the army to look for the necklace. [When he became sleepy], he laid his head on my lap and slept. [My father] Abu Bakr (RA) came to me and hit me on the chest and said, “You detained the people because of a necklace!” I stayed as motionless as a dead person because of the Prophet (SAW)’s position [on my lap, so he would not be disturbed and wake up.] (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Leaning on Your Spouse’s Chest

Aisha (RA) said: The Prophet (SAW) died in my house on the day of my turn, while he was leaning on me between my chest and neck, and Allah destined that my saliva be mixed with his saliva. Abd al-Rahman came with a siwak, but the Prophet (SAW) was too weak to use it, so I chewed it for him and cleaned his teeth with it. (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Feeding your Wife or Husband

Saad ibn Abi Waqqas (RA) narrated: The Prophet (SAW) said, “Everything you spend (on your family) is charity, even a morsel of food you raise to your wife’s mouth.” (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Drinking From the Same Cup and Eating From the Same Food

Aisha (RA) said: I used to drink, while I was menstruating, and I would pass it to the Prophet (SAW) and he would drink from the same place where my mouth had been, and I used to eat meat, while I was menstruating, and I would pass it to the Prophet (SAW), and he would eat from the place my mouth had been.

Applying Perfume to Your Spouse

Aisha (RA) said: I applied perfume to the Prophet (SAW) with these two hands before he went into ihram and after he exited ihram. (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Taking a Bath From the Same Vessel

Aisha (RA) said: The Prophet (SAW) and I would take a bath from the same vessel, and it would be placed between us. He would get ahead of me, so I would say, “Leave some for me!” (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Joking and Playing

Joking With Your Wife or Husband

Aisha (RA) narrated: The Prophet (SAW) said to me, “I know when you’re happy with me and when you’re angry with me.” I said, “How do you know?” He said, “When you are happy with me, you swear by saying ‘By the Lord of Muhammad’. When you are angry with me, you swear by saying ‘By the Lord of Ibrahim’.” I said, “You are right, Messenger of Allah. But, I don’t leave anything but your name [even when I am angry].” (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

When the Prophet (SAW) was sick, Aisha (RA) had a headache and said, “My head, my head!” The Prophet (SAW) said, “Rather, my head, my head!” (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

When Aisha (RA) said, “My head, my head [is killing me]!”, the Prophet (SAW) said, “If it happened [i.e. you died] while I was alive, then I would seek forgiveness for you and pray for you.” Aisha (RA) said, “By Allah, I think you would like my death. If it happened, you would spend the end of your day with one of your [other] wives!” (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Racing With Your Wife

Aisha (RA) narrated: I went on a journey with the Prophet (SAW), and we stopped at some place. The Prophet (SAW) said, “Come, let me race you.” So, we raced, and I beat him. Then, I went with him on another journey. The Prophet (SAW) said again, “Come, let me race you.” We raced and he beat me. Then, he said, “This one is in exchange for that time.” (Sunan Abu Dawud)

The chain of this hadith has an unnamed person in it, so it is not Sahih.

Joking About Wives or Husbands

Umar (RA) said: I said to the Prophet (SAW), “If you saw us Messenger of Allah, the people of Quraish, we used to be dominant over women. Then, we came to a people (in Madinah) whose women are dominant over them.” The Prophet (SAW) smiled. (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Missing and Waiting

Waiting For Your Husband Anxiously

Aisha (RA) said: The Prophet (SAW) left on one of his expeditions, and I was waiting for his return. I took a curtain we had and hung it as a screen over the door. When he returned, I stood up to greet him and said, “Peace be upon you, Messenger of Allah, and praise be to Allah who helped you, gave you victory, and honored you.” (Sahih Muslim; Hasan)

Counting the Days

Ibn Abbas (RA) said: [When the Prophet (SAW) became angry at his wives], he (SAW) said, “I will not enter upon them for a month.” When 29 days passed, he first came to Aisha (RA), and she said, “You had promised not to come to us for a month, but it has only been 29 days? I have been counting them.” The Prophet (SAW) said, “A month is 29 days.” (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Hurrying to Your Wife

Jabir ibn Abdullah (RA) said: I was with the Prophet (SAW) when we were returning from an expedition, and I wanted to hurry back, but I was riding a slow camel. A rider came from behind me, and I looked back to see the Prophet (SAW). He asked, “What makes you in such a hurry?” I said, “I am newly married.” (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Travelling With Your Wife

Aisha (RA) said: Whenever the Prophet (SAW) intended to go on a journey, he would draw lots among his wives. Whoever’s lot came would go with him on the journey. (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Missing Your Late Wife

Aisha (RA) said: I was never jealous of a wife of the Prophet (SAW) more than I was of Khadijah (RA) even though she passed away before he ever married me, because of how often I heard him mention her, and Allah told him to give her good news of a palace (in Jannah). Sometimes, the Prophet (SAW) would sacrifice a sheep, divide it into portions, and gift them to her friends.”

Aisha (RA) said: One day, Halah bint Khuwaylid, Khadijah’s sister, sought permission to enter. The Prophet (SAW) recognized Khadijah’s voice in her voice and became surprised. Then, he said, “O Allah, it is [only] Halah.” I became jealous at this and said, “What makes you remember an old woman from Quraish with red gums who passed away long ago when Allah has given you better than her in her place?” (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Aisha (RA) said: Sometimes, I used to say, “As if there is no woman other than Khadijah!” He would say, “She was this, and she was that (listing her good qualities), and I have children through her.”

Beautifying Yourself

Wearing Attractive Clothes For Your Husband

Aisha (RA) said: […] I had a dress in the time of the Prophet (SAW) which every woman in Madinah used to borrow from me to look good for her husband.” (Sahih Bukhari)

A Man Wearing Good Clothes

Allah says ⟪Say, “Who has forbidden the adornment of Allah which He has produced for His servants and the good [lawful] things of provision?” Say, “They are for those who believe during the worldly life [but] exclusively for them on the Day of Resurrection.”⟫ (7:32)

Abdullah ibn Masud (RA) narrated: The Prophet (SAW) said, “No one will enter Jannah if he has a grain of pride in his heart.” A man asked, “What if a man likes to wear good clothes and good shoes?” The Prophet (SAW) said, “Allah is Beautiful and He loves beauty. Pride means rejecting the truth and looking down on people.” (Sahih Muslim)

Grooming Yourself For Your Spouse

Abu Hurairah (RA) narrated: The Prophet (SAW) said, “Five things are from the fitrah: 1) circumcision, 2) shaving your pubic hair, 3) plucking your armpit hair, 4) cutting your nails, and 5) clipping your moustache short.” (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Jabir (RA) narrated: The Prophet (SAW) said, “When you return to your family at night (after a long time away), (give them time and) don’t enter upon your family until the woman whose husband was away can shave her pubic hair and the woman whose hair is unkempt can comb hair.” (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

If You See Another Woman

Jabir ibn Abdullah (RA) narrated: The Prophet (SAW) said, “If you see a woman, go to your wife, because that will remove what is in your heart.” (Sahih Muslim)

Household Chores

Cooking For Your Husband

Abu Hurairah (RA) narrated: Jibril came to the Prophet (SAW) and said, “Messenger of Allah, this is Khadijah coming to you with a bowl of food or drink. When she comes to you, give her salam from your Lord and from me and give her good news of a palace of jewels (in Jannah) that has no noise or chores. (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Anas (RA) narrated: While the Prophet (SAW) was at the home of one of his wives, another of his wives sent him a plate with food in it. […] (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Ali ibn Abi Talib (RA) narrated: Fatimah (RA) complained to the Prophet (SAW) about blisters on her hands because of using the mill-stone (to grind wheat) [and requested a servant]. The Prophet (SAW) said, “Shall I tell you about something better than a servant? When you go to bed, do takbir 33 times, tasbeeh 33 times, and tahmeed 33 times. That is better for you than a servant.” (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Barirah (RA) said to the Prophet (SAW) about Aisha (RA), “I have not seen anything I can criticize about her except that she is a young girl who falls asleep [while making dough] and goats come and eat it.” (Sahih Bukhari)

Feeding Your Wife

Saad ibn Abi Waqqas (RA) narrated: The Prophet (SAW) said, “Everything you spend (on your family) is charity, even a morsel of food you raise to your wife’s mouth.” (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

A Wife Serving Guests

Sahl ibn Saad said: When Abu Usaid al-Saa’idi got married, he invited the Prophet (SAW) and his companions. The bride herself (Umm Usaid) made the food and served the guests. She had soaked dates in water overnight. When the Prophet (SAW) finished eating, she brought him that drink. (Sahih Bukhari)

Washing Your Husband’s Clothes

Aisha (RA) said: I used to wash the traces of janabah off the clothes of the Prophet (SAW), and he used to go for prayer and the signs of washing were still visible. (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

A Wife Filling Up Gas When Needed

Asma (RA) said: I used to feed [Zubair’s] horse with grass, draw water from the well, fix the bucket for drawing water, and prepare the dough, but I did not know how to bake bread, so our Ansari neighbors used to bake bread for me, and they were nice ladies. (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

A Husband Doing Chores Around the House

Aswad said: I asked Aisha (RA), “What did the Prophet (SAW) use to do at home?” She said, “He used to be busy serving his family. When it was time for Salah, he would leave for Salah.” (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

It is also reported: Aisha (RA) said, “He used to do what any of you does at home. He used to patch his garments and mend his sandals.” (Adab al-Mufrad; Hasan)

Argument

A Husband and Wife Arguing

Umar (RA) said: We, the people of Quraish, used to be dominant over our wives. But, when we came to Madinah, we found a people whose wives were dominant over them, and our wives started learning from them. One day, I became angry at my wife, and she started talking back to me! I was astonished at her talking back to me. She said, “Do you think it is wrong for me to talk back to you? By Allah, the wives of the Prophet (SAW) talk back to him and some of them (become angry and) ignore him for a day until the night comes.” (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Umar (RA) continued: So, I went to Hafsah (my daughter) and asked her, “Do you talk back to the Messenger of Allah?” She said, “Yes.” I said, “Do you also sometimes ignore him for a day until night?” She said, “Yes.” I said, “Anyone who does that is ruined! Don’t you fear that Allah will become angry with you, then you would be destroyed?? Don’t talk back to the Messenger of Allah, and don’t ask him for anything. Ask me whatever you want instead. And don’t be fooled by your neighbor (i.e. Aisha RA) [and what she does]. She is more beautiful and more beloved to the messenger of Allah than you.” (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Umar (RA) continued: Then, I went to Umm Salamah (RA) [to talk about this issue], because of her familial relation to me, and she said, “It is amazing, O Ibn al-Khattab, that you get involved in everything, and now you even want to come between the Messenger of Allah and his wives!” Her words affected me, and my feelings subsided.

Numan ibn Bashir (RA) narrated: Abu Bakr (RA) once sought permission to enter upon the Prophet (SAW), and he heard Aisha (RA) raising her voice at the Messenger of Allah. So, when Abu Bakr (RA) entered, he started saying, “O daughter of Umm Ruman! Do you raise your voice at the Messenger of Allah??” But, the Prophet (SAW) shielded her from him. When Abu Bakr (RA) left, the Prophet (SAW) said to Aisha, “Did you see how I shielded you from that man?” Then, Abu Bakr (RA) came another day and heard them laughing with each other. He said, “Include me in your peace like you included me in your war.” (Sunan Abu Dawud; Hasan)

Resolving Arguments Quickly

Umar (RA)’s wife said, “Some of them (become angry and) ignore him for a day until the night comes.”

The Prophet (SAW) said, “If a man calls his wife to bed but she refuses and he spends the night angry with her, the angels curse her until the morning.” (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Words Said in Anger

When the Aziz’s wife accused Yusuf (AS) but he turned out to be innocent, the Aziz said ⟪This is another instance of women’s trickery: your trickery is truly great.⟫ (12:28)

Aisha (RA) narrated: When the Prophet (SAW) was sick (on his death bed), he said, “Tell Abu Bakr to lead the people in prayer.” I said, “Abu Bakr is a soft-hearted man. If he led people in your place, no one would hear anything because of the crying. Have Umar lead prayer instead.” I also told Hafsah to say the same to the Prophet (SAW). The Prophet (SAW) [became annoyed] and said, “You are like the women of (Surah) Yusuf! Tell Abu Bakr to lead the prayer.” Hafsah said to me, “I have never gotten any good from listening to you.” (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Aisha (RA) narrated about when she was slandered. At that time, she stayed a few days at her parents’ house, crying the whole time:

The Prophet (SAW) came to my parent’s house and sat down. He started by praising Allah then said, “Aisha, some claims about you have reached me. If you are innocent, Allah will clear your name. If you made a mistake and committed a sin, then seek Allah’s forgiveness and repent to Him, because if a servant of Allah acknowledges and repents to Allah, Allah accepts his repentance.”

When the Prophet (SAW) finished his speech, my tears stopped flowing and I did not feel even a drop was left. I said to my father, “Respond to the Messenger of Allah on my behalf.”

My father (Abu Bakr) said, “By Allah, I don’t know what to say to the Messenger of Allah.”

So, I said to my mother, “Respond to the Messenger of Allah on my behalf.”

She said, “By Allah, I don’t know what to say to the Messenger of Allah.”

So, I said, despite being a young girl who did not know much of the Quran, “I know by Allah that you all heard this accusation and it settled in your minds and you believe it. If I told you I am innocent, you would not believe me. If I accepted the accusation, even though Allah knows I am innocent, only then you would believe me. By Allah, there is no better example of this situation than what the father of Yusuf (AS) said ⟪Patience is most fitting. And Allah is the one sought for help against that which you describe.⟫” (12:18)

Then, I turned away and lay on my bed.

[…]

Neither did the Prophet (SAW) get up from his place nor did anyone leave the house before Allah revealed verses confirming my innocence. After the verses were revealed, the Prophet (SAW) started smiling and said, “Aisha, Allah has confirmed your innocence!”

My mother said to me, “Get up for him.”

I said, “By Allah, I will not get up for him. I will only thank Allah.”
Sahih Bukhari and Muslim

Not Allowing Pride To Overcome You

Ibn Masud (RA) narrated: The Prophet (SAW) said, “Pride is to reject the truth and look down on people.” (Sahih Muslim)

My mother said to me: Arguments usually arise because one person’s pride gets the better of them, and they can be resolved by patience. So, if your wife is in a moment of pride, be quiet and be patient. If you are in a moment of pride, she should be quiet and patient.

Nuaim ibn Qa’nab said:

I went to meet Abu Dharr (RA), and Abu Dharr told his wife to bring us some food.

She argued with him when he asked. He said something back to her. She said something back to him. Then, he said, “You (women) do not go beyond what the Prophet (SAW) said about you: A woman is like a rib. If you try to straighten her, she will break. If you leave her, she will have a bend.”

She turned around and brought us some thareed (an Arabian dish) […]
Musnad Ahmad; Hasan

A lot of people would let pride get ahold of them if their husband or wife quoted a hadith to them, especially a hadith like that, but the wife of Abu Dharr chose to be patient and also not to disrespect the words of the Prophet (SAW).

Entertainment

Letting a Young Wife Watch Entertainment Until She Gets Bored

Aisha (RA) said: While Ethiopians were performing with their spears, the Prophet (SAW) screened me behind him and I watched (that display) and kept on watching till I left on my own. You may estimate how long a young girl who loved entertainment would have stayed there watching. (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Enjoyment on Eid and at Weddings

Aisha (RA) said: Abu Bakr (RA) entered my house on the day of Eid while the Prophet (SAW) was with me, and I had two young girls singing a song about the Battle of Bu’ath. Abu Bakr said, “Musical instruments of Shaitan in the house of the Prophet (SAW)??” The Prophet (SAW) said, “Leave them Abu Bakr, because every people have an Eid, and today is our Eid.” (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Aisha (RA) said: I was preparing a girl of the Ansar for her wedding, and the Prophet (SAW) said, “What lahw (entertainment/singing) have you prepared? Because the Ansar love lahw.” (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Encouraging Each Other in Islam

Allah says ⟪O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones⟫ (66:6)

Allah says ⟪Help each other in goodness and taqwa, and do not help each other in sin and aggression.⟫ (5:2)

Commanding Prayer

Allah says ⟪And tell your family to pray and be steadfast on it. We do not ask you for provision. We provide for you, and the best outcome is for those who have righteousness.⟫ (20:132)

Allah says ⟪And mention in the Book, Ismail. Indeed, he was true to his promise, and he was a messenger and a prophet. And he used to enjoin on his people prayer and zakah and was to his Lord pleasing.⟫ (19:55)

Waking Your Spouse For Witr

Aisha (RA) said: The Prophet (SAW) used to pray while I was sleeping across in his bed in front of him. When he was going to pray witr, he would wake me up, and I would pray witr. (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Encouraging Tahajjud

Umm Salamah (RA) said: The Prophet (SAW) woke up one night and said, “Subahanallah! How much fitnah has been sent down tonight? How much treasure has been sent down tonight? Who will wake the occupants of these rooms (i.e. my wives)? Someone well-dressed in this world can be naked in the hereafter.” (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Not Calling Your Family For Tahajjud All the Time

Abu Dharr (RA) said (in a long hadith): [The Prophet (SAW) led us in prayer when seven nights remained of Ramadan, and when five nights remained. When three nights remained], the Prophet (SAW) called his family and wives and led us [in Qiyam ul-Layl] until we feared missing suhur. (Sunan Tirmidhi; Hasan Sahih)

Reciting Quran to Your Spouse

Aisha (RA) said: The Prophet (SAW) used to recite Quran with his head in my lap, [even] when I was on my period. (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Discussing Tafsir With Your Spouse

Whenever Aisha (RA) heard something she did not understand, she would ask about it until she understood. One day, the Prophet (SAW) said, “Whoever is taken to account (on the Day of Judgement) will be punished.” Aisha (RA) said, “Didn’t Allah say about the believer that ⟪He will have an easy account⟫ (84:8)?” The Prophet (SAW) said, “That will only be a presentation (of deeds). Whoever is questioned in his account will be ruined.” (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Taking Your Wife to Umrah or Hajj

Ibn Abbas (RA) narrated: The Prophet (SAW) said, “A man should not be alone with a woman, and a woman should not travel except with a mahram.” A man stood up and said, “Messenger of Allah, I registered for an expedition but my wife has left for Hajj.” The Prophet (SAW) said, “Go and do Hajj with your wife.” (Sahih Bukhari and Muslim)

Tricking Your Husband Into Doing Good

Ibn Abi Mulaikah said:

A man came to Asma bint Abi Bakr and said, “Umm Abdullah, I am a poor man, and I want to sell (my goods) in the shadow of your house.”

I said, “If I give you permission, (my husband) Zubair will reject it. So, come and ask me while Zubair is here.”

So, the man came while Zubair was there and said, “Umm Abdullah, I am a poor man, and I want to sell (my goods) in the shadow of your house.”

Asma said, “You didn’t find any house in Madinah other than mine??”

Zubair said to her, “Why are you stopping a poor man from selling?”

So, the man used to sell there until he earned a lot, and Asma even sold him her servant.

Zubair entered her room while she had the money (from selling the servant) in her lap. He said, “Gift it to me.”

She said, “I intend to give it in charity.”
Sahih Muslim

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