- Allah Commands Marriage
- Marriage Is the Command and Sunnah of the Prophet (SAW)
- Parents Are Required to Get Their Children Married
- Marriage Brings Wealth, and Does Not Come After Wealth
- Beauty and Homemaking Skills Are Not Conditions of Marriage
- Marriage Saves from Sin
- The Sahabah Used to Consider It a Flaw or Sin to Stay Unmarried
- Not Marrying Early Leads to the Destruction of Society
- Humans Were Made to Be Married, Not to Be Alone or Celibate
Allah Commands Marriage
بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَٰنِ الرَّحِيمِ
وَأَنْكِحُوا الْأَيَامَى مِنْكُمْ وَالصَّالِحِينَ مِنْ عِبَادِكُمْ وَإِمَائِكُمْ إِنْ يَكُونُوا فُقَرَاءَ يُغْنِهِمُ اللَّهُ مِنْ فَضْلِهِ وَاللَّهُ وَاسِعٌ عَلِيمٌ
Allah says ⟪And marry off the singles among you as well as the righteous of your male and female slaves. If they are poor Allah will enrich them from his bounty.⟫ (Quran 24:32)
Then, He says ⟪Let those who cannot find a marriage stay chaste until Allah enriches them from his bounty.⟫ (24:33)
Marriage Is the Command and Sunnah of the Prophet (SAW)
Allah says ⟪And We have sent messengers before you and made for them wives and descendants.⟫ (13:38)
A man in the life of the Prophet (ﷺ) decided he just wanted to worship and not get married. The Prophet (ﷺ) heard of this and became very angry and said, “I get married, and whoever abandons my Sunnah is not from me.” (Sahih Bukhari; Shortened from a longer hadith)
Abdullah ibn Masud (RA) said: We were young men who had no money and the Prophet (SAW) said to us, “O young people, whoever has the capability should get married because it is safer for your eyes and chastity. Whoever is not able to should fast because it is a shield.” (Sahih Bukhari)
Saeed ibn Jubair said: Ibn Abbas (RA) asked me, “Are you married?” I said, “No.” He said, “Get married because the best of this ummah (the Prophet) was also the one with the most wives.” (Sahih Bukhari)
Parents Are Required to Get Their Children Married
Allah says ⟪And marry off the singles among you⟫ (24:32) where the command is to the parents specifically and society generally. The verse does not say “Singles, get married” because Allah wanted to specify the burden belongs to the people in charge i.e. the parents.
Allah tells them to get singles married off and tells them not to worry about their current financial status (as long as there is a reasonable plan to seek Allah’s bounty): ⟪If they are poor, Allah will enrich them from his bounty.⟫ (24:32) Allah did not say marry off only the wealthy singles.
Sufyan al-Thawri, one of the greatest scholars of Islam in the second generation after the companions, said, “[Scholars before us] used to say: A father’s responsibility to his child are to give him a good name, to get him married when he reaches adulthood, and to teach him good character.” (Nafaqah by Ibn Abi Dunya; Sahih to Thawri) Adulthood means the age when Salah becomes obligatory.
Allah says ⟪And marry off the singles among you as well as the righteous of your male and female slaves⟫ (24:32), commanding people to marry off their righteous slaves, whom they would have to financially support. Their own righteous children are more deserving of financial support!
Marriage Brings Wealth, and Does Not Come After Wealth
Allah commands people to marry and then assures them, ⟪If they are poor Allah will enrich them from his bounty.⟫ (Quran 24:32) A disbeliever doubts Allah’s promises and plans his life as if they are uncertain.
Abdullah ibn Masud (RA) said: We were young men who had no money and the Prophet (SAW) said to us, “O young men, whoever has the capability should get married […]” (Sahih Bukhari)
A man proposed to marry a woman in front of the Prophet (SAW). The Prophet (SAW) said, “Do you have anything (for mahr)?” He said, “No.” The Prophet said, “Look for even an iron ring.” But, he looked and could not find anything. He said, “I have this garment I am wearing; she can have half of it.” The Prophet said, “What can she do with that garment? If you wear it, she will not be able to cover herself. If she wears it, you will not be able to cover yourself.” Then, finally, the man was about to leave when the Prophet asked him, “What Quran have you memorized?” He said, “This and that Surah.” The Prophet said, “You are married to her with what you have memorized of the Quran as mahr.” (Sahih Bukhari; Shortened)
Hasan al-Basri said: Umar (RA) said, “Seek wealth through marriage,” then recited the verse ⟪If they are poor Allah will enrich them from his bounty.⟫ (Abd al-Razzaq; Sahih to Hasan al-Basri) Hasan did not meet Umar (RA), but it is useful supporting evidence.
Reported from Ibn Masud (RA), “Seek financial stability (ghina) in marriage.” (Tafsir Tabari)
Urwah ibn al-Zubair, the nephew of Aisha (RA) and one of the greatest scholars of Madinah after the Sahabah, said the Prophet (SAW) said, “Marry, because wives come with wealth.” (Ibn Abi Shaibah; Sahih to Urwah)
Beauty and Homemaking Skills Are Not Conditions of Marriage
The only recommendation in Islam is to marry a woman who pleases you to look at and is willing to fulfill her responsibilities, not someone with immense beauty or extensive skill.
Allah says ⟪Marry those that please you of women.⟫ (4:3) He did not say marry beautiful women.
Allah says ⟪And the servants of the Most Merciful […] are those who say, “Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous.”⟫ (25:74) He did not say ask that your wives be beautiful.
The Prophet (SAW) said, “A woman is married for four things: 1) Her wealth, 2) her beauty, 3) her lineage, and 4) her religion. Be successful by marrying the ones with religion.” (Sahih Bukhari) Meaning, religion is the priority over beauty, wealth, and lineage. This includes race and skin color.
The Prophet (SAW) said, “The whole world is only temporary provision, and the best provision of this world is a righteous wife.” (Sahih Muslim; Hasan) He did not say “a beautiful wife.”
The Prophet (SAW) said, “Allah does not look at your appearances or your bodies but looks at your hearts,” and he pointed to his chest. (Sahih Muslim; Hasan)
Having extensive household skills is not a requirement.
Barirah (RA) said to the Prophet (SAW) about Aisha (RA), “I have not seen anything in her I can criticize except that she is a young girl who falls asleep [while making dough] and goats come and eat it.” (Sahih Bukhari)
The Prophet (SAW) said, “Each of you is a shepherd and will be questioned about his herd. […] A man is the shepherd of his household and will be asked about them. A woman is the shepherd of her husband’s house and children and will be asked about them.” (Sahih Bukhari)
Being previously married is also not a flaw. All the Prophet (SAW)’s wives were previously married except Aisha (RA).
Allah said to the wives of the Prophet (SAW) when some of them did something that annoyed the Prophet (SAW) ⟪Perhaps his Lord, if he divorced you, would substitute for him wives better than you – Muslims, believing, obedient, repentant, worshipping, and fasting, whether previously married or virgins.⟫ (66:5)
These qualities are what everyone should look for in wives: ⟪Muslims, believing, obedient, repentant, worshipping, and fasting, whether previously married or virgins⟫. There is no mention of beauty or household skills.
Marriage Saves from Sin
The Prophet (SAW) said, “O young people, whoever has the capability should get married because it is safer for your eyes and chastity. Whoever is not able to should fast, because it is a shield.” (Sahih Bukhari)
Tawus said to Ibrahim ibn Maisarah:
Either you marry or I will say to you what Umar (RA) said to Abu al-Zawa’id, “Nothing stops you from marriage except impotence or sin.” (Abd al-Razzaq; Sahih to Tawus)
ِAnother narration from Tawus: Umar (RA) asked a man, “Are you married?” He said, “No.” Umar (RA) said, “Either you are a fool (impotent) or a sinner.” (Abd al-Razzaq; Sahih to Tawus)
Tawus did not directly meet Umar (RA) but he was a close student of Ibn Abbas and met companions like Abu Hurairah and Aisha (RA), so he likely got this story from an acceptable source.
Wahb ibn Munabbih, a wise scholar in the generation after the companions, said, “The unmarried are like dry bushes in the desert. The wind blows them like this and this.” (Abd al-Razzaq)
The Sahabah Used to Consider It a Flaw or Sin to Stay Unmarried
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “I get married, and whoever abandons my Sunnah is not from me.” (Sahih Bukhari)
Ibn Masud (RA) said, “If I had only one day left in my life, I would get married, to have a wife in that one day.” (Abd al-Razzaq and Ibn Abi Shaibah; Sahih to Ibn Masud)
Hasan al-Basri reportedly narrated a story: Muaz ibn Jabal (RA) said on his death bed, “Get me married, because I don’t want to meet Allah unmarried.” (Abd al-Razzaq) Hasan al-Basri did not meet Muaz, but it is useful supporting evidence.
A weak hadith says: Shaddad ibn Aws (RA) asked to be married on his death bed and said, “The Prophet told me not to meet Allah unmarried.” (Abd al-Razzaq)
Tawus, one of the students of Ibn Abbas (RA), said, “The obligations of a young person do not end until he gets married.” (Abd al-Razzaq) He also said, “A woman is half the deen of a man (and vice versa).” (Abd al-Razzaq)
There is a famous but very weak hadith, “Marriage is half the deen.” What I quoted above is much more authentic.
Not Marrying Early Leads to the Destruction of Society
This is basic logic and does not require proof. Anyone can look at Western society to observe it.
The Prophet (SAW) told young people to marry “because it is safer for your eyes and chastity,” (Sahih Bukhari) and the Prophet (SAW) was speaking to companions like Ibn Masud (RA) who were more pious and knowledgeable than any person today. The Prophet (SAW) said, “Learn the Quran from four people: Ibn Masud, Salim, Ubay, and Muaz ibn Jabal.” (Sahih Bukhari)
Wahb ibn Munabbih said, “The unmarried person is like a dry bush in the desert. The wind blows him like this and this.” (Abd al-Razzaq)
Zaid ibn Aslam, one of the major scholars of Madinah after the generation of the companions, narrated: The Prophet (SAW) said, “If someone proposes to you whose religion and character you are happy with, then get him married. If you don’t do that, there will be fitnah (tribulation) and fasad (corruption) on earth.” A man said, “What if there’s this or that problem in him?” He said, “If you don’t do that, there will be fitnah and fasad on earth.” (Muwatta Ibn Wahb; Sahih to Zaid ibn Aslam)
The same hadith appears in Sunan Tirmidhi with a weak chain, and Tirmidhi called it Hasan Ghareeb.
My wife narrated to me, saying: One of my friends said, “My brother-in-law went to the US from India to do his Masters. There, he fell in love with an Ismaili classmate and started begging his parents to let him marry her, but they refused because Ismailis are not Muslim.”
I said, “They could have avoided this if they married him to a wife before sending him so far.” (Sahih)
Humans Were Made to Be Married, Not to Be Alone or Celibate
Desire for marriage is good and marriage is rewarded
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “I get married, and whoever abandons my Sunnah is not from me.” (Sahih Bukhari)
Allah says ⟪Beautified for people is the love of that which they desire – of women and sons […] That is the provision of worldly life, but Allah has with Him the best return.⟫ (3:14) He does not call it sinful.
Then, He says ⟪Say, “Shall I inform you of [something] better than that? For those who fear Allah will be gardens in the presence of their Lord beneath which rivers flow, wherein they abide eternally, and purified spouses and approval from Allah.⟫ (3:15) He mentions marriage as one of the rewards you should look forward to in Jannah.
The Prophet (SAW) said, “Every time you encourage good is charity (i.e. rewarded), every time you warn against evil is charity, and being with your wife is charity.” A man asked, “We can fulfill our desires and get reward for that??” The Prophet (SAW) said, “Don’t you see how you would be sinful if you did it in haram? Just like that, you are rewarded if you do it in halal.” (Sahih Muslim)
The Prophet (SAW) said, “The whole world is only provision, and the best provision of this world is a righteous wife.” (Sahih Muslim; Hasan) The same applies to a righteous husband.
A hasan hadith from the Prophet (SAW): “From the aspects of this world, women and perfume have been made beloved to me, but my comfort lies in Salah.” (Sunan Nasai)
A man asked the Prophet (SAW), “Who is the most beloved person to you?” The Prophet said, “Aisha.” He said, “I meant from the men.” The Prophet said, “Her father.” (Sahih Bukhari)
When Allah mentions human creation in the Quran, He mentions that humans were made in pairs
Allah says ⟪O mankind, fear your Lord, who created you from one soul and created from it its mate and dispersed from both of them many men and women.⟫ (4:1) and said ⟪It is He who created you from one soul and created from it its mate that he might dwell in security with her⟫ (7:189) and said ⟪He created you from one soul. Then He made from it its mate.⟫ (39:6)
Allah says ⟪And Allah created you from dust, then from a sperm-drop; then He made you mates.⟫ (35:11) and said ⟪[He is] Creator of the heavens and the earth. He has made for you from yourselves, mates⟫ (42:11) and ⟪Then he was a clinging clot, and [Allah] created [his form] and proportioned [him] And made of him two mates, the male and the female.⟫ (75:38-39)
Allah says ⟪And of His signs is that He created you from dust; then, suddenly you were human beings dispersing [throughout the earth]. And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.⟫ (30:20-21)
Humans were created to find tranquility and peace in marriage
Allah says ⟪And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.⟫ (30:20-21) and says ⟪They are clothing for you and you are clothing for them.⟫ (2:187)
Allah says ⟪And the servants of the Most Merciful […] are those who say, “Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous.”⟫ (25:74)
The Prophet (SAW) said, “The whole world is just provision, and the best provision of this world is a righteous wife.” (Sahih Muslim; Hasan) The same applies to a righteous husband.
Just like humans were designed to eat healthy food, humans were designed to marry.
Marriage and wealth are also trials and can become bad if they distract from the worship of Allah
Allah says ⟪Your wealth and your children are but a trial, and Allah has with Him a great reward.⟫ (64:15)
Allah says ⟪Beautified for people is the love of that which they desire – of women and sons […] That is the provision of worldly life, but Allah has with Him the best return.⟫ (3:14)
The Prophet (SAW), “I have not left after me a greater trial for men than women.” (Sahih Bukhari)
They are a trial in many ways: Do they distract you from Allah’s worship or help you? Do you fulfill their rights? Do they fulfill your rights?
Some people in the time of the Prophet (SAW) wished to come to Madinah to learn from the Prophet but their wives stopped them. So, Allah revealed ⟪O you who have believed, indeed, [some] among your wives and your children are enemies to you, so beware of them. But if you pardon and overlook and forgive – then indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.⟫ (64:14)
The purpose of life is to worship Allah, not marry or earn money
Allah says ⟪And I did not create the jinn and mankind except to worship Me.⟫ (51:56)
He says ⟪Beautified for people is the love of that which they desire – of women and sons, heaped-up sums of gold and silver, fine branded horses, and cattle and tilled land. That is the enjoyment of worldly life, but Allah has with Him the best return.⟫ (3:14)
Anyone who is not married on earth will be married in Jannah
Allah says ⟪And they will have [in Jannah] purified spouses, and they will abide therein eternally.⟫ (2:25)
Abu Hurairah (RA) narrated, “There will be no unmarried person in Jannah.” (Sahih Muslim)
Celibacy from marriage is an unacceptable idea in Islam
Allah says ⟪And We placed in the hearts of those who followed [Jesus] compassion and mercy and monasticism, which they innovated; We did not prescribe it for them except [that they did so] seeking the approval of Allah. But they did not observe it with due observance.⟫ (57:27)
Uthman ibn Maz’un wanted to live a life of celibacy, but the Prophet (SAW) forbade him from doing that. (Sahih Bukhari)
